Friday, May 18, 2012

Heavy Burdens

Right now we have heavy burdens. I almost want to buckle right now. Schuyler's PTSD is really quite something. You think "Oh, he's okay. He looks and acts alright." But then we go to a baseball game and stay for the fireworks while a guy is down by home plate singing the Star Spangled Banner. All the while your husband is rocking back and forth with fingers in his ears, eyes squeezed shut, hoping, PRAYING the fireworks to hurry up and finish. I knew we should have left at the bottom of the 8th. I knew it.

I'm reminded how fragile he still is. How fragile we all are as his family, his support.

So right now, I'm just asking for prayers. Prayers for him. Prayers for me, our children, and extended family. To know how to help, how to cope, how not to go crazy in this process of healing. As it is, his career in the Navy is at a stand still. In the middle of not knowing for sure where or what will happen. We have an idea of where it's going.

New territory in the military. Something I wish we never knew. Uncertainty is not my friend. Not knowing what's next because I don't know anyone else who has been through it before. And each case is different so no one person will know for sure. But the process is in motion, we'll know in approximately 6 months.

Alright so now this is sort of a depressing blog entry but I really wanted to get it out there. We need prayer. We need it. I don't like being a broken record. But I also don't like seeing my husband suffer after serving our country far away from us in a place full of sand and guns when his training was for sea going vessels. I feel bitter, at a loss, and worried about our future. Pray I will be content. I want what God wants! Help me to remember this!

". . . Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. . . ." Ruth 1:16

1 comment:

  1. Girl you are stronger than you know. You inspire me everyday. I know this is not easy and I cried right along with you last night. You guys are in my prayers every day! I love having you guys here but I am sad that it is at the cost of Sky. Love your bible verse. It so applicable to you right now. Keep trusting in God and His plan. Even though you can't see where you are going God will lead the way, you just have to trust in him. Remember Jeremiah 29:11.